Sandy, Oh Sandy

                      I grew up in NYC. I now live in the heart of the south Alabama. That's how I came up with my company name, and my blog name. Kinda cute , huh? Well it wasn't me. It was hubby, but, ehhh who's counting? I moved here after a year in Florida ,when hubby ( wasn't hubby yet0 found a wonderful job here.I have a wonderful house and two of the most amazing youngens' ( yup I'm all southern now ) that a woman can ask for, not to mention the worlds most amazing ,wonderful , caring, giving , and strong husband. I don't often have anything to ever be upset about. i mean we struggle. There are times when things get rough, but who doesn't. Then I watched Super Storm Sandy happen and my perspective shifted.

                    When hurricane Katrina happened, my uncle came and stayed with us. Even though I watched all the coverage of that horrific time and other than my uncle, I had no real connection to the city and the surrounding areas. I had never been to any of the places I saw. Other than my uncle I knew no one who lived there, and he was in my home and safe. Yes it was tragic and horrific and scary but it was like I wasn't connected. I wasn't plugged in. Then hurricane Sandy came along 7  years later and everything changed .

                 Watching the storm coverage on the news has been breaking my heart . Watching during the storm the crazy weather channel guy Jim Canttore as he stood in Battery Park ( for those that don't know it's the southern tip of Manhattan , where you catch the ferries to Staten Island, Ellis Island or the Statue of Liberty) , and he was knee deep in water, water that I knew from having been in that spot or one very close to it a thousand times was now 15 feet above normal hit me hard. I can remember hoping on the S.I. ferry a million times from that spot.  I can remember meeting Bryant there one afternoon many moons ago. I even took hubby down there and showed him around when we went up to New York and stayed with Karen for Kimberly and Steve's wedding. Watching the Jersey skyline behind him go dark. Him actually looking a little afraid at hearing 95 mile an hour winds on the Long Island Sound and saying he needed to get out of the area he was in frightened me. I have watched him during storms for as long as I can remember and he has never left his post before. And as I sit and watched I never thought that him leaving wouldn't even come close to being the worst of it.

              As the storm continued on , I would see in my newsfeed updates from friends and family. I would ask if they are okay . Some would say yep for now. Never did I think that a week later, most would still not have power. Or heat. Or clean water. This is a disaster on the same level as Katrina. The city is just as devastated as New Orleans was. The difference is no levys breached. The results are the same however where entire sections of the city are siting in ruins. Howard Beach, The Rockaways and others. NO power , no heat, water anything. I hurt just thinking about it. All the people that  I came into contact with at some point in life , or actually knew and were friends with or even worse the family from my dad's side who I don't have contact with ( that blame is all on super storm Janet , otherwise known as the crazy lady who gave birth to me) all those innocent people who are hurting so badly and aren't  getting the help they need.

              And then there is Staten Island. It is one of the only places I was ever really and truly happy. From 94-99  or so it is where I was whenever I could get there. It is where all of my amazing  friends that got me through the years with my mom were and still are. Staten Island is more than just a borough, especially to all those that live there now or have lived there. Once you have been there it becomes part of your heart. It is  a magical place that is still in NYC but so far away you don't always think of it that way. Seeing the horrors that everyone is going through is just horrible and tragic and devastating. I am so far away and can only pray for them to get the help they need. I hope it is soon

Coffe Talk

I have debated and debated writing this post. I didn't want to seem crazy or stalkerish or anything like that. It has been bothering me and weighing on me so here it goes.

When Brayden's accident happened I was in a private group that was run by the same people who run The Made Page on facebook. They were so very supportive of me and my family during this horrible time we experienced. They even had a benefit auction and raised about $200 to help my family . It was wonderful and heartwarming and appreciated beyond measure. There were no words for what it meant. Not only the auction and support but their friendships.
Fast forward to the end of August.One of the administrators was making dinner. Her 10 year old) accidentally dropped her 3 month old. She was very upset and worried and rushed him to the ER. While there she posted in the group she was still waiting ( it had been a long time that she was waiting) . Now here comes the sticky part , the part where I screwed up. I commented that maybe they didn't ( meaning the doctors/staff) think it was serious. She was devastated by my comment rightfully so. I tried apologizing but was quickly out of the group and that was okay I deserved it. I just want to say though that the way it came out was 100% not what I meant to say( on a side note someone did message me that the baby was okay later on). What I meant was that if the staff had any thoughts or inclination that something was even remotely or possibly wrong with him that the would have taken him back right away to check on him. That if he could have anything seriously wrong they would have seen him and not made him wait. In truth that is not what I said nor is it how the message was received. I have felt guilty EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. SINCE. I have moved on, they have moved on. It was more than 2 months since it happened. I regret very much what I said and how it was taken.
I am not even sure why I wrote this post. A confession? To make myself feel better? Hoping they see this? I really don't know. I lost most of the friends I had in the group that were my " friends" and my page. I miss them. I miss the laughs. I miss not having a place to complain about the stuff I can't just " post" out to the public. I know that I am 100% responsible for what happened. I asked a friend to get them the message then. I don' know if they ever got it. I don't know if they will see this. But it is worth a try. I hope this eases my heart. I hope this is seen by them so they know that I didn't mean any harm. The thought of people who were so caring and giving and supportive when I needed them most, that were there for me being hurt by my stupidity and thoughtlessness hurts me. I hurt them and for that I will always be sorry. I am sorry I didn't think before typing. I am sorry my words hurt. I may not have meant it they way it was taken, but I said it , and take full responsibility for my actions. I wish every single person in the group, much love , wealth , happiness , and joy. I hope that one day you all will be able to see that I was not coming from a mean place and that I really am truly sorry for my actions.
I have learned a lot from this. I try very , very hard now to think before I speak. I have learned that words really do hurt. I have learned that I can say things in a manner that hurt. I am very very sorry. I can not turn back the hands of time only move forward in a hopefully more positive direction.

Thank you Coffee Talk ladies for your love , friendship and support. I may have only had it for a brief fleeting moment but that moment is one I will always treasure and keep close to my heart. Thank you.

Tebow

I watched a special on E! recently about Tebow's "rise to fame". In the show one of the commentators stated that everyone is waiting for Tebow to slip up. Basically insinuated waited for him to be caught drinking or getting a girl pregnant.But here is the thing. That won't hat happen. He was raised Southern Baptist. They don't fall of the tracks. They follow what they see ass the word of God and do not stray. They see the things but in front of them , setting them up to fail as the devil trying to get them. They see it as a challenge from the Lord. They do no see it as everyday life as things people that are not from the south or the church do , see as normal everyday life. I think Tebow has shown over and over again the strength of his character, of his life choices, of who he is. He won't falter. He will always be the kind, giving , strong young man he is. Get off his back, he will not change. You know what? Don't get off his back , he will drag you and everyone else on his back to Calvary.

        He sees life in a much bigger picture than most. Every action you do or do not so is watched by the Lord. He knows that for every autograph he doesn't sign that breaks a child's heart the Lord is watching him. He knows that when he gets angry that he choses the right way to express himself not using ugly nasty words that hurt Gods heart but words that help to change what is going on. I love him not only because he is a Gator down to his core but because he loves God and will never turn from Him and never be afraid to show anyone and everyone what the true path is.

Brayden's Accident , Part 2

          
             After he ate some of his waffle mom and I left the hospital and went to the hotel leaving Greg with Brayden. Even though he was in a diaper, you would have to help him pee in his magic bucket because he wouldn't use the diaper flat out refused. He told the nurses then us he was a big boy and big boys don't use diapers or magic pants as they tried to convince him they were. My boy didn't buy that. Mom and I went back to the hotel tried to get some sleep, hoping Greg was doing the same. I slept some but the rest didn't feel restful. I was sleeping 7 or 8 hours at least a night a feeling like I got a 20 minute nap in.
            After we got up and got a good shower and breakfast we headed back to the hospital. When we got there Greg had already seen most of the doctors on rounds and there was no real change in his condition. His eyes were swollen shut so he couldn't see. The swelling was so bad that the doctors couldn't make a decision on the surgery yet, waiting on that till the swelling goes down.At this point 36 hours after the accident he had been awake and aware for maybe a total of an hour, maybe. He was asleep , so he was healing which was a good thing. At lunch Greg and his mom went to the store picked up McDonald's and came back. Brayden who we thought was asleep said something we couldn't hear. We asked what he said    , so he repeated himself very loudly " I said french fry". He smelt the french fries, he couldn't see them but he knew they were there and wanted them , now! We feed him the french fried. He ate all of mine , most of mom's. My baby was coming back just kinda sneaky;). HA!
          He still couldn't see so all we could do was read to him. The staff at Children's was amazing they brought him tons of books. They brought him a Mater remote controlled car. They brought him a book that had a cd of the story  and a cd player so he could listen to it at all times. He was awake a lot now excerpt we didn't know when he was. He was quiet and his eyes were shut. You would know he was awake when you would hear random " french fry , please!" or " muffin" or "waffle". It would come out of no where. You would be in mid sentence and he would interrupt with it. It was funny but it meant a lot more. It meant my baby boy was getting back to himself.
        I was getting calls constantly. Emails too. We started updating facebook as much as we could because it was just easier, it could get the message out faster. One of our phones ( Greg, mom or me) was almost always on the charger. Mom said she would stay with him that night, which made her boy happy, he sure does love his sweetie. Greg and I went left for the night about 8. WE stopped at Outback for dinner because I NEEDED a drink . I needed to be out where people were . I needed a break. We had a nice dinner and we relaxed, if only a little . We got sleep that night and were back at it again in the morning. Dad had finally been able to book his flight and work out the details of coming up. At that point it had been decided that Kaitlyn would go back to Florida with mom when she went home. Tuesday want much change, random food requests and I got go potty a billion times ( he was still on IV meds ) and some read to me that Woody story or Lightning BaQueen ( as he says it) story. I felt that I could stay with him that night. I had been having a hard time being around him for long periods of time. Seeing my baby so broken was killing me. But I knew in my heart he was going to be okay now and that he would love to have mommy.
          Mom and Greg went back to the hotel about 830 or so and  did whatever they did ( I wasn't with them I don't know ! LOL) I went to the snack machine and got some chips and when I got back I was in trouble with a handsome little boy because I didn't bring him any. Guess who ate my chips and drank my sweet tea? You guessed it not me.HA! I would have given him anything at that point and he knew it! I got some sleep that night but like I've said I would sleep 7 hours , 8 hours and felt like I took a nap. It wasn't restful sleep. It was worried sleep. I would here nurses and CNAs come in doing there thing . I would here nosies in the hall or a light would get brighter in the hall. Plus sleeping on a small recliner type/size chair that pulls out to a bed isn't exactly the most comfortable sleep , either. And the whole yelling  for french fries in the middle of the night things, not  as cute now. When Greg and mom returned in the morning they brought me breakfast and had picked up Dad from the airport. I could see it in his face, when he saw Brayden. He hurt for my baby. I saw it in mom's face too. Other than that first moment they saw him, they didn't show it they were here and very supportive and for that I am grateful.
          They forced us to go to lunch that day, practically kicked us out of Brayden's room. I was mad. I didn't want to leave him. They were right though. We needed a break. We walked to get lunch 5 or 6 blocks away ( no easy task in Alabama in June , might I add). We had lunch sat and talked. On they way back it was time for another happy meal, Greg walked over to McDonald's I walked back to the room. When I walked in to the room , there was stuff all over his bed . He was sitting up and he said " Hi , mommy." I said " hi , baby " He replied with " I can open my eye now" After almost 5 days I could see his beautiful blue eye. It was only one then the left one but it could open. I hugged him was about to sit down next to him and ask where all the new stuff had come from, what department when I heard a noise I looked up and there was Kimmie ( Greg's cousin) and Aunt Cindy ( dad's sister). I was in shock gave them hugs and thanked them for coming. Greg got back about 5 or 10 minutes later at most. Same thing happened with him all excited about the one eye opening and then shock about Kimmie and Aunt Cindy ;). I volunteered to stay again that night. I know Greg when he and any of his cousins get together and when he's with Aunt Cindy. I was gonna get more sleep at the hospital than anyone at the hotel, anyway!HA!

Brayden's Accident , Part 1

One month ago yesterday my life and that of my family changed for ever. It started off great. We were having fun at Kaitlyn's team swim party for softball. We ate pizza and cookie cake and the girls got their trophies. We were all having a blast , swimming , shooting water guns and going off the diving board. Everyone was having a great time , all of my family included and then it happened and the world changed. Greg was going off the diving board . Brayden was waiting till daddy got finished on the ground beside the diving board. I tuned away so not to get splashed by big boy. When I turned back saw the diving board falling in the pool on top of my husband. I felt sheer panic for him but he popped up said he was okay and was wanting to find the coach whose house we were at to apologize. Then I heard panic behind me. I looked up from in the pool to see one of the coach's holding my son who looked dead. He was limp and covered in blood. When daddy was going off the diving board he heard it creak he bent down to investigate and when the board broke it hit my baby. My sweet kind small for a 3 year but almost 5 year ole baby. By the time I swam to the stairs and got out they had already called 911. It still didn't hit me how bad it was. One of the other mom's is a nurse and kept telling the coach on the phone they needed to hurry. They asked me what hospital, I said RMC, still not realizing how bad things were. In what was only 5 minutes or so but seemed like 3 hours the ambulance arrived. The EMT took one look at my handsome boy and said " No,mommy this baby isn't going anywhere near RMC we are airlifting him to Children's" .
         I sent Greg with the ambulance to take him to meet the helicopter. I understood we couldn't ride the helicopter with him but someone needed to go with him now, daddy was to upset to drive and I thought maybe I could. The ambulance took him to Word Alive's parking lot and waited for the helicopter , while we were waiting for the ambulance one of the moms called Greg's mom and dad, then Toni. Toni raced to me to get me to Word Alive. We spoke with the ambulance driver and EMTs. All of Oxford FD and police seemed to be there to help. The helicopter arrived and we knew he was in good hands, so we took Greg home to put on clothes and change. WE grabbed Brayden's Elmo ( his blankey) and his Blue's clues stuffed animal and raced to Birmingham. It was the longest hour in the car on the way down there. I spoke to Greg's mom who had been told it was Greg that was Hurst not Brayden. All I could get out when she asked if she needed to come was a squeaky " it's bad " .As we were getting off I 20 we got a call from the hospital that he was being brought up to PICU after his MRI and CAT scan. She told us where to park and where to go once we got in the building. We still got lost. We finally got up to the PICU and waited what seemed like an eternity.Mike and Britni got there thanks to Mike doing 100 on the way down. After about a half an hour the counseling staff came and spoke with us and then the pastoral services came. They finally brought him up from his tests and let us see him. It was a SHOCK.
           He was covered in dry blood. He had a breathing tube in. He had a neck brace on. He looked so little and so fragile, and so broken. It was another 20 minutes or so before we could go back and see him. We went back saw him and my heart broke. He looked so tiny. He was in pain and they gave him meds to help but just seeing him like that , no one should ever have too see their child like that.We spoke to countless doctors, nurses staff. The plastic surgeon said when the swelling goes down he would have to do surgery, that would require cutting him from ear to ear across the top of his head and pull his face down to fix it. The optometrist said his one pupil was blown , and thought it was the trauma and he would recover but want sure. Internal medicine, neuro, and trauma were all brought in on his case.They all told us conflicting information. We were going in and out of the PICU. He could only have 2 visitors at a time. All of Kaitlyn's team who had been there parents came to see him and support us. Toni and Channing were there as our rocks. His mom was on her way. It must have been so scary for mom, driving 8 hours by herself to get to us to her boy. Visiting hours stopped at 10:30 we knew we would need sleep , we knew we had a long road ahead. We got a hotel room a few miles from the hospital. Greg and Channing went to get us some sleep clothes, some food and clothes for the next day. They got us some diner and Chris from Sunday school came and visited and prayed with us. Mom got in about 1 o'clock in the morning. I showed her the pic. She was upset. Sher called dad so he would know she got here safe. WE got what sleep we could . We ate some breakfast and went back up to the hospital. Over night they had stitched his nose ( it had been split like a lizard tongue) . They also called him mini Houdini because he yanked out his catheter twice, got out his restraints several times. We were in and out again because of only 2 visitors. At lunch mom went and changed our hotels to a closer and safer one. Brother Scoot and Mrs. Sheila came and prayed over Brayden. He had some more visitors from ball and from church.
                         About 3 they said they were moving him to the BURN unit ( also infectious cuts) and that he would be in a private room and we could stay with him . They also were finally able to explain his injuries. His face had been fractured all over the place, where there had been impact from the board . The fractures were like cracks in the cement and not displaced so they weren't worried about those as much as his nose . Across his nose, above his eyebrows, his bones under the tear duct, his orbital socket . His nose was broken badly in the bridge and the cartilage was displaced. He was going to need surgery at that point there was no idea when or how invasive. Before they could move him to another unit he needed to be cleared by all departments involved in his case. Plastics, internal, Trauma, respiratory  and Neuro . The removed the breathing tube about 5 and  and checked his lung functions. He was breathing great. Then Neuro came in. He removed the brace . He asked does this hurt does that hurt. Brayden's answer was always " No, my toe hurts". He had a pulse ox monitor on and didn't like it. He kept asking for them to take it off.
                     He was all cleared and moved to his room about6. They got him a tray of dinner in case he got hungry. Greg ran to the hotel to get  some sleep clothes for him, he was staying the night. A nurse came in and he said he was hungry, we tried to offer him what we had in the room. The stores were closed. The cafeteria was closed. But no my boy wanted a waffle. Incidentally that's when I knew he would be okay. Baby boy loves waffles. We didn't have any. We were getting ready to have Greg run to the store to get some, when the unit clerk came in and said " I have some great news for you. I bought myself in a box of waffles today, if it is okay with y'all I would like to give him some" Most wonderful words I heard all day.The nurse brought back in a waffle and baby boy ate three quarters of it. I got chocked up. I knew we had a long road ahead but things were looking up.



This has been harder to wrtite than I thought going to break it up into several sections, but will try to do it all this week before I start to forget. I want to document this, get it all writen down. I dont think I will ever forget but I am not taking any chances.

Gregory Dean Allen

In November of 2011 at a bowling alley in Orange Park, Florida I meet the man, the man who would love me like no other ever had or ever would and it changed me for forever. I would love to say our love story started out with a bang but it didn't. In fact not even close.
I was on the alley getting ready to bowl, waiting for the player to my left to finish. I hear behind me i the voice of Kitty ( the crazy lady lived with < story for later> ). I hear her say to someone " Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a job? A car? I thought I was going to die. I have never ,ever been so embarrassed in my entire life , and actually still to this day. I heard her offer to pay him for the date , the gas , the food, movies , and pay him!!!! I felt like a $2.00 hooker on her night off. But you know what? It is the thing I am most grateful for in my life.
We went out that Saturday. We went to Carrabba's Italian food and Spiderman. it was awful. I was yawning,I was doing everything to get to go home. And I was miserable. We really thought when he dropped me off we would never, ever see each other again.Maybe at the bowling alley but I really thought that was it. Crap was I wrong.We bowled against another team about 3 or 4 weeks late team later that was next to his team. I hear Kitty tell her husband Luis something and then I see her talking to Greg and then she disappeared. Greg came up to me and said," Kitty said to take you home" We still had one more game to bowl. SHE LEFT!!!!!!! WTF? Well this happened in one way or another for a month. We would go eat at IHOP or Denny's and talk. we eventually started to have feelings for each other and then decided to go on another "date" a real date. And that night changed everything for me . We went downtown to go to The American Cafe in Jacksonville on the water. It was great. it started to rain on the way home. His windshield wipers didn't work . We ended up driving to his house ( he lived with his parents)and we kissed , like a couple of teenagers for hours. I in an instant knew that I had more feelings for this man , real , deep feelings then I had ever had for any one ever in my life. Greg brought me back to life. Made me a real live woman. And for that I will always be grateful. He is my magic and my love