5 months ago our lives changed. Everything in it would never , ever be the same. When Brayden's accident happen when my happy go lucky , innocent, amazing and wonderful little man was injured , when he was broken my life stopped . I was on auto pilot. My sole goal was to get down to the hospital to get to him. My goal was to work on getting him better. Every time I saw someone the pictures or get asked about the accident and time in the hospital people always say how did you make it though. The answer is simple. I knew deep down a higher, greater power had this. I knew , I just knew my baby boy would be okay. I may have been in shock. I may have been delusional. I may have been temporarily insane.Or maybe, just maybe I had a little thing called faith.Faith hasn't always been an easy thing for me. Everything my mother put me through . Every thing she did to me. Everything that happened after I walked away from her , from Glenn and from Kim. Moving to Florida just a short 3 weeks before September 11th. Meeting Greg atthe bowling alley and starting to date the way we did and how we did. All of that brought me to today. I am happy. Not all day everyday but who is ( with out Xanax , anyway)? I love my life . I love my husband and my kids. I love my life . 5 months ago today I learned a lesson . A lesson I thought I had already learned. Or maybe I had and forgoten it. FAITH will be there when nothing else is. Faith is how I got though. FAITH. Faith and di I mention
FAITH!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Coffe Talk
I have debated and debated writing this post. I didn't want to seem crazy or stalkerish or anything like that. It has been bothering me and weighing on me so here it goes.
When Brayden's accident happened I was in a private group that was run by the same people who run The Made Page on facebook. They were so very supportive of me and my family during this horrible time we experienced. They even had a benefit auction and raised about $200 to help my family . It was wonderful and heartwarming and appreciated beyond measure. There were no words for what it meant. Not only the auction and support but their friendships.
Fast forward to the end of August.One of the administrators was making dinner. Her 10 year old) accidentally dropped her 3 month old. She was very upset and worried and rushed him to the ER. While there she posted in the group she was still waiting ( it had been a long time that she was waiting) . Now here comes the sticky part , the part where I screwed up. I commented that maybe they didn't ( meaning the doctors/staff) think it was serious. She was devastated by my comment rightfully so. I tried apologizing but was quickly out of the group and that was okay I deserved it. I just want to say though that the way it came out was 100% not what I meant to say( on a side note someone did message me that the baby was okay later on). What I meant was that if the staff had any thoughts or inclination that something was even remotely or possibly wrong with him that the would have taken him back right away to check on him. That if he could have anything seriously wrong they would have seen him and not made him wait. In truth that is not what I said nor is it how the message was received. I have felt guilty EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. SINCE. I have moved on, they have moved on. It was more than 2 months since it happened. I regret very much what I said and how it was taken.
I am not even sure why I wrote this post. A confession? To make myself feel better? Hoping they see this? I really don't know. I lost most of the friends I had in the group that were my " friends" and my page. I miss them. I miss the laughs. I miss not having a place to complain about the stuff I can't just " post" out to the public. I know that I am 100% responsible for what happened. I asked a friend to get them the message then. I don' know if they ever got it. I don't know if they will see this. But it is worth a try. I hope this eases my heart. I hope this is seen by them so they know that I didn't mean any harm. The thought of people who were so caring and giving and supportive when I needed them most, that were there for me being hurt by my stupidity and thoughtlessness hurts me. I hurt them and for that I will always be sorry. I am sorry I didn't think before typing. I am sorry my words hurt. I may not have meant it they way it was taken, but I said it , and take full responsibility for my actions. I wish every single person in the group, much love , wealth , happiness , and joy. I hope that one day you all will be able to see that I was not coming from a mean place and that I really am truly sorry for my actions.
I have learned a lot from this. I try very , very hard now to think before I speak. I have learned that words really do hurt. I have learned that I can say things in a manner that hurt. I am very very sorry. I can not turn back the hands of time only move forward in a hopefully more positive direction.
Thank you Coffee Talk ladies for your love , friendship and support. I may have only had it for a brief fleeting moment but that moment is one I will always treasure and keep close to my heart. Thank you.
When Brayden's accident happened I was in a private group that was run by the same people who run The Made Page on facebook. They were so very supportive of me and my family during this horrible time we experienced. They even had a benefit auction and raised about $200 to help my family . It was wonderful and heartwarming and appreciated beyond measure. There were no words for what it meant. Not only the auction and support but their friendships.
Fast forward to the end of August.One of the administrators was making dinner. Her 10 year old) accidentally dropped her 3 month old. She was very upset and worried and rushed him to the ER. While there she posted in the group she was still waiting ( it had been a long time that she was waiting) . Now here comes the sticky part , the part where I screwed up. I commented that maybe they didn't ( meaning the doctors/staff) think it was serious. She was devastated by my comment rightfully so. I tried apologizing but was quickly out of the group and that was okay I deserved it. I just want to say though that the way it came out was 100% not what I meant to say( on a side note someone did message me that the baby was okay later on). What I meant was that if the staff had any thoughts or inclination that something was even remotely or possibly wrong with him that the would have taken him back right away to check on him. That if he could have anything seriously wrong they would have seen him and not made him wait. In truth that is not what I said nor is it how the message was received. I have felt guilty EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. SINCE. I have moved on, they have moved on. It was more than 2 months since it happened. I regret very much what I said and how it was taken.
I am not even sure why I wrote this post. A confession? To make myself feel better? Hoping they see this? I really don't know. I lost most of the friends I had in the group that were my " friends" and my page. I miss them. I miss the laughs. I miss not having a place to complain about the stuff I can't just " post" out to the public. I know that I am 100% responsible for what happened. I asked a friend to get them the message then. I don' know if they ever got it. I don't know if they will see this. But it is worth a try. I hope this eases my heart. I hope this is seen by them so they know that I didn't mean any harm. The thought of people who were so caring and giving and supportive when I needed them most, that were there for me being hurt by my stupidity and thoughtlessness hurts me. I hurt them and for that I will always be sorry. I am sorry I didn't think before typing. I am sorry my words hurt. I may not have meant it they way it was taken, but I said it , and take full responsibility for my actions. I wish every single person in the group, much love , wealth , happiness , and joy. I hope that one day you all will be able to see that I was not coming from a mean place and that I really am truly sorry for my actions.
I have learned a lot from this. I try very , very hard now to think before I speak. I have learned that words really do hurt. I have learned that I can say things in a manner that hurt. I am very very sorry. I can not turn back the hands of time only move forward in a hopefully more positive direction.
Thank you Coffee Talk ladies for your love , friendship and support. I may have only had it for a brief fleeting moment but that moment is one I will always treasure and keep close to my heart. Thank you.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
My Kiddos
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Tebow
I watched a special on E! recently about Tebow's "rise to fame". In the show one of the commentators stated that everyone is waiting for Tebow to slip up. Basically insinuated waited for him to be caught drinking or getting a girl pregnant.But here is the thing. That won't hat happen. He was raised Southern Baptist. They don't fall of the tracks. They follow what they see ass the word of God and do not stray. They see the things but in front of them , setting them up to fail as the devil trying to get them. They see it as a challenge from the Lord. They do no see it as everyday life as things people that are not from the south or the church do , see as normal everyday life. I think Tebow has shown over and over again the strength of his character, of his life choices, of who he is. He won't falter. He will always be the kind, giving , strong young man he is. Get off his back, he will not change. You know what? Don't get off his back , he will drag you and everyone else on his back to Calvary.
He sees life in a much bigger picture than most. Every action you do or do not so is watched by the Lord. He knows that for every autograph he doesn't sign that breaks a child's heart the Lord is watching him. He knows that when he gets angry that he choses the right way to express himself not using ugly nasty words that hurt Gods heart but words that help to change what is going on. I love him not only because he is a Gator down to his core but because he loves God and will never turn from Him and never be afraid to show anyone and everyone what the true path is.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Accident Pictures
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| Day 1 ~ Children's PICU |
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| Day 2 ~ Children's PICU |
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| Day 3 |
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Day 5 ~ all smiles
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 Day 4 |
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| Day 6 home and out to eat! |
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| Night Before suregery ` Day 9 |
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| Day 20 ~ No more tubes |
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| Day 10 ~ Right after suregery |
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| Say 28 ~ Stiches are gone too |
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| Day 30 ~ God is so good! Now some more random pics frrom this time~       |
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Brayden's Accident Part 4 , Surgery
On Monday afternoon we got a phone call that they had changed his surgery to first case which meant we had to be at the Hospital at 5:45. We decided to drive down and get a room. There was no way we would get there in time other wise. We checked out of our room and got to the hospital about 5:30. We checked in and filled out all the paper work. We had been sent to same day surgery and had been told it would be out patient well that was wrong. They told us he would be admitted and I am so , so glad he was.
About 6:15 they took us back to the room to prep him. We had doctors come in and talk to us and nurses and nurse practitioners. We spoke to anesthesia. They asked if we thought he would take a drink to help calm his nerves. I told her no before she could finish her sentence. Brayden gags on Tylenol.She said okay. She asked him what flavor gas he would like , she gave a 4 year old about 50 choices. The same 4 year old who can never decide anything. He chose bananas . What? He doesn't even like bananas all that much but what ever made him happy. I think he picked it because bananas are yellow. About 6:55 transportation came and took him back to surgery and I cried for the first time. Don't get me wrong I had gotten chocked up plenty. I had tears fill my eyes , but I cried. It only last about 20 seconds but hey I cried. I sat back down with his blanket wrapped around me and read my book. About 100 minutes later they came and got us and brought us up to his room. WE stopped in the waiting room and got Brother Scott. Our wonderful pastor sat in the waiting room since 7 o'clock. They brought us up to the 6th floor where his room was . When I saw him I almost collapsed. He looked the worst he had looked. He kept crying it hurts .It hurts. They gave him some meds and he went back to sleep. I took this pic then.
After another week they took out the stitches and splints.
About 6:15 they took us back to the room to prep him. We had doctors come in and talk to us and nurses and nurse practitioners. We spoke to anesthesia. They asked if we thought he would take a drink to help calm his nerves. I told her no before she could finish her sentence. Brayden gags on Tylenol.She said okay. She asked him what flavor gas he would like , she gave a 4 year old about 50 choices. The same 4 year old who can never decide anything. He chose bananas . What? He doesn't even like bananas all that much but what ever made him happy. I think he picked it because bananas are yellow. About 6:55 transportation came and took him back to surgery and I cried for the first time. Don't get me wrong I had gotten chocked up plenty. I had tears fill my eyes , but I cried. It only last about 20 seconds but hey I cried. I sat back down with his blanket wrapped around me and read my book. About 100 minutes later they came and got us and brought us up to his room. WE stopped in the waiting room and got Brother Scott. Our wonderful pastor sat in the waiting room since 7 o'clock. They brought us up to the 6th floor where his room was . When I saw him I almost collapsed. He looked the worst he had looked. He kept crying it hurts .It hurts. They gave him some meds and he went back to sleep. I took this pic then.
Do you see why I was so upset? My poor kid. He slept for the next 12 hours. the tv was broken in the room. Brayden would wake up if it was too bright. So we napped and read and played on our phones. ALL.DAY. LONG. and . ALL. NIGHT. LONG.HE slept okay. He was cleared to go home in the morning. Before we left they gave him a dose of Tylenol with codeine and he slept all the way home.After 10 days they took out the tubes .
After another week they took out the stitches and splints.
He doesn't have to go back to plastics for SIX MONTHS!!! Praise GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My handsome cheese ball is on the road to recovery!
Brayden's Accident , Part 3
On Wednesday afternoon he could finally open his right eye a little, enough that he would hopefully be cleared to go home. That night Greg, Aunt Cindy, Kimmie and mom and dad went back to the hotel to spend time together and unwind.I stayed with mini man again. It was a good night he slept most of it, so did I. About 6 doctors started coming in on their rounds. Plastic said he would get a 3D MRI today. Nuero cleared him to go home. So did trauma and internal medicine. All that was left was plastics. They took him down for the 3D MRI about 8 and I got to go with him. I put on one of those heavy vest things and stood with him while they did the test. The tech said the test looked clear and she would send it to his doctors for results.
We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon just being in the room with him, Greg was hung over like you wouldn't believe so he went to go back to the hotel dad was coming to Oxford to get Kaitlyn. Dad called to say he was stuck in traffic could we look up an alternate route. As we were googling , the nurse came in and said he was being discharged, now. We called dad back, he had already turned around and he came and got us.We went back to the hotel in traffic that looked as if it would kill us but once we got on I 65 we were golden. WE got back to the hotel rather quick and got Brayden and all the stuff he had collected from people and the hospital up to the room. We needed a cart and still carried stuff. We knew he had to go back the following Tuesday for surgery but our baby was home. We spent that night in Birmingham . We came back to Oxford the next day. Mom and dad dropped us off. We cleaned up a little put some stuff away and went to go get baby girl. She had been staying with Miss Melody from church. She had a blast . A pool and 8 kids and a yorkie. Yup I think she had fun. We took her back to the hotel where mamaw and paps were and so she could see bubba. We went out to Olive Garden that night with mom and dad, Britni and Mike, Toni, Channing and the boys and our family to celebrate little man being on the road to recovery. We had 2 servers split our party both were former coworkers.We had a great time.
The next morning Kaitlyn and mamaw took dad back to the airport so he could fly home. They came back to Oxford and we met up and went to Caleb's All-Star tournament. There would be a lot of people who wanted to see him. We thought it might be too much on him so we took two cars. He had a blast. I don't think his feet hit the floor . He was toted and hugged and loved on. He was bought soda, candy, ice cream , pizza , chips you name it. He was loved on by some folks who had been praying for my sweet baby. We had a good time and from there went to Toni and Channing's and I made dinner. We had a good time together and hung out and Brayden played. Mom and Kaitlyn were leaving in the am so he went to the hotel with her and Kaitlyn came back to the house with us. She slept in our bed for the first time EVER. OUCH!!! She kicks , she punches and pushes all while snoring louder than daddy.;)
The next morning we got up got her dressed met mom for breakfast. We ate we chatted they left and we headed for church. We were a little late for Sunday school but we knew no one would care. Everyone wanted to see my sweet boy. We got up to our class he got hugged on and loved on. He said okay enough can I go to my class now? LOL. That's my sassy boy. We went to lunch at Logan's. They have peanuts which I am allergic too but have never bothered me there. Guess what it did that day. I cma home took some Bendryal and fell out. I woke up and Brayden wasn't here. He went to a church party with Toni and Channing. He had a blast and was loved on and babied even more ;) .
We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon just being in the room with him, Greg was hung over like you wouldn't believe so he went to go back to the hotel dad was coming to Oxford to get Kaitlyn. Dad called to say he was stuck in traffic could we look up an alternate route. As we were googling , the nurse came in and said he was being discharged, now. We called dad back, he had already turned around and he came and got us.We went back to the hotel in traffic that looked as if it would kill us but once we got on I 65 we were golden. WE got back to the hotel rather quick and got Brayden and all the stuff he had collected from people and the hospital up to the room. We needed a cart and still carried stuff. We knew he had to go back the following Tuesday for surgery but our baby was home. We spent that night in Birmingham . We came back to Oxford the next day. Mom and dad dropped us off. We cleaned up a little put some stuff away and went to go get baby girl. She had been staying with Miss Melody from church. She had a blast . A pool and 8 kids and a yorkie. Yup I think she had fun. We took her back to the hotel where mamaw and paps were and so she could see bubba. We went out to Olive Garden that night with mom and dad, Britni and Mike, Toni, Channing and the boys and our family to celebrate little man being on the road to recovery. We had 2 servers split our party both were former coworkers.We had a great time.
The next morning Kaitlyn and mamaw took dad back to the airport so he could fly home. They came back to Oxford and we met up and went to Caleb's All-Star tournament. There would be a lot of people who wanted to see him. We thought it might be too much on him so we took two cars. He had a blast. I don't think his feet hit the floor . He was toted and hugged and loved on. He was bought soda, candy, ice cream , pizza , chips you name it. He was loved on by some folks who had been praying for my sweet baby. We had a good time and from there went to Toni and Channing's and I made dinner. We had a good time together and hung out and Brayden played. Mom and Kaitlyn were leaving in the am so he went to the hotel with her and Kaitlyn came back to the house with us. She slept in our bed for the first time EVER. OUCH!!! She kicks , she punches and pushes all while snoring louder than daddy.;)
The next morning we got up got her dressed met mom for breakfast. We ate we chatted they left and we headed for church. We were a little late for Sunday school but we knew no one would care. Everyone wanted to see my sweet boy. We got up to our class he got hugged on and loved on. He said okay enough can I go to my class now? LOL. That's my sassy boy. We went to lunch at Logan's. They have peanuts which I am allergic too but have never bothered me there. Guess what it did that day. I cma home took some Bendryal and fell out. I woke up and Brayden wasn't here. He went to a church party with Toni and Channing. He had a blast and was loved on and babied even more ;) .
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