I am probably the biggest glutton for punishment EVER. To explain this I guess I have to go further back and say that my mother was missing or where abouts unknown to me since February of 2008. I didn't know if she was dead alive in jail homeless, nothing ( but according to my mother my sister did < but that is something else> know). My mother was very very abusive, and those words may not even cover what she did. Yet over the last year or two or even three I find myself missing my mother, wanting her back in my life. Which is crazy because I haven't seen her in almost 12 years. It is so hard trying to balance and be a mom and not having yours.
Then in April my brother went to visit my sister in Pennsylvania( where they lived with my mother for 6 years) and went out for drinks with high school friends. Afterwards he dropped one of the friends off and the friends mom was friends with my mother. He asked her do you know where my mom is , do you know if she is okay? And not only did the woman know but she had her phone number and address and gave it to Glenn. Glenn being GLenn went and found her. Spoke with her , he SAW her. And then gave me her number. i debating calling her speaking with her bewcasue Iknow the drama that comes with her, but for whatever reason , I did. And I instantly regreted it. My mother was well my mother. Complaining, hinting for things. Ugh. And here's the thing no matter how awefull I feel after talking to her, I still do. Can someone explain this to me? I don't get it. She is so aweful and herendous and mean and eviland yet I keep going back for more. I just sent her a big envolope full of pictures. Last time she had pictures of my kids she got her trailer taken away from her. So why in God's name did I do it again? I have no clue but now I need a cookie!
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