Fighting

this entry is taken from my myspace from lasty August just thought I add it here



I am so tired of fighting. I know we have our problems and things are not as they should be but I am losing it.He speaks to me as his father does and it is eating me up inside. His father is a wonderful man, except to me he treats me well most of the time but sometimes the tone of his voice or the little comments he makes breaeks my heart and Greg sits idlely by and does nothing. ALways has, always will. GReg speaks to me as if he thinks I am a bad mom he makes me feel worthless. I am a shell of myself and not sure how much longer before I shatter. Why can't I be good enough? I try dso hard everyda, every hour, every minute , and every every single second but none of it is good enough. Then when I try talking to him about it he wigs out and yells and says oh hear we go again and whatever jenn whatever. So I won't even tell him anymore. I will jsut keep it all bottled up because that is all I can do. It's alll he'll let me do. He is very controlling lately. everything has to be his way. There is no other way. What is going on? I love him so much but he has not been himself in so long,I am scared I don't know what to do.I am crying so much I can barely see the keyboard to type. I want him to love me again no matter what no make me feel so terrible all the time. I am trying, but I need help. He gets mad when the house isn't clean but he yells at the kids when I ask him to watch them so I stop and it never gets done. Then I try to take the kids places when he sleeping and he gets mad because I used gas I bought lucnh or whatever floats his boat that day or what did not get done in the house while i should have been home. I do not know how much more of this I can take....