From my birthday last year posted on my myspace:
Why do you blame me for everything that has gone wrong in your life? Why is it that I am not good enough for you? I am a good wife and mother. I love my children, and my wonderful husband. My life is better than I ever dreamed of, but then there is you. There is always you in the back of my mind eating away at my happiness. A mother is supposed to protect her children, love them nurture them, teach them. But you stopped doing tht long before I left your home. I am old enough to remember the good times, the happy times, where Glenn and Kimmie are not. i remeber when youi where a good mother, but I don't know what happened to you, when the mother gene, shut off, but it did. I helped raise Kim and Glenn, because you where never there , for a long time, always at Bingo or with Julie and peggy with out us or at least without me. Cooking at peggys all time but not bringing me home food or smaller portions so you and Glenn could have seconds, but at least you fed me( sometimes). Giving Glenn any and everything he wanted and Kimmie to and me nothing. When I turned 18 you turned me into an addict, in bingo. I loved to play plus there was alweays your attention there. You beat me so severly , I left school out of fear of getting taken awy, stupid i know but I was young. i was more fearful of being taken to a foster home, then once I was old enough geting arrested for what the house was like. i have blammed my self for years for everything, i have been in such a dark whole that i have been trying to claw my way out for an eternity, but have gotten no where. Why don't you love me ? my beautiful babies? it is not fair to them to not know their grandma like i was fourtuniate enought o have known mine. But no more. I have to move on from you. I have to be bigger and better than you you are no more to me, because i have to be whole again and as long as i hold on to the hope of you being what I want what i need i t will never happen so i sya this now, good bye mother.
Why do you blame me for everything that has gone wrong in your life? Why is it that I am not good enough for you? I am a good wife and mother. I love my children, and my wonderful husband. My life is better than I ever dreamed of, but then there is you. There is always you in the back of my mind eating away at my happiness. A mother is supposed to protect her children, love them nurture them, teach them. But you stopped doing tht long before I left your home. I am old enough to remember the good times, the happy times, where Glenn and Kimmie are not. i remeber when youi where a good mother, but I don't know what happened to you, when the mother gene, shut off, but it did. I helped raise Kim and Glenn, because you where never there , for a long time, always at Bingo or with Julie and peggy with out us or at least without me. Cooking at peggys all time but not bringing me home food or smaller portions so you and Glenn could have seconds, but at least you fed me( sometimes). Giving Glenn any and everything he wanted and Kimmie to and me nothing. When I turned 18 you turned me into an addict, in bingo. I loved to play plus there was alweays your attention there. You beat me so severly , I left school out of fear of getting taken awy, stupid i know but I was young. i was more fearful of being taken to a foster home, then once I was old enough geting arrested for what the house was like. i have blammed my self for years for everything, i have been in such a dark whole that i have been trying to claw my way out for an eternity, but have gotten no where. Why don't you love me ? my beautiful babies? it is not fair to them to not know their grandma like i was fourtuniate enought o have known mine. But no more. I have to move on from you. I have to be bigger and better than you you are no more to me, because i have to be whole again and as long as i hold on to the hope of you being what I want what i need i t will never happen so i sya this now, good bye mother.
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