Glenn and Kimberly

I love my brother and sister. They are the only people who truly understand some of the things I do. They grew up with the same mother the same physco mother . They saw me get beyond abused. They saw and heard the things she did the things she said. You would think growing up in they way we did would make us inseparable. HA! so not the case. I barely know them both. My sister is married to a guy I barely know. I know her so very very little. We talk mostly about my kids. We make small talk and have little discussions but that is it. I am not sure if it is a matter of her possibly having anger towards me for leaving. You see when my mother decided to move to Pennsylvania, I had a choice. Find some place to move, some place to go or I would die. I have never had a doubt about that. My mother would have killed me if I moved to PA all those years ago. The abuse had gotten so bad. And then we were moving away from everything she knew, all her friends from Bingo which is my mother's crack. There are no doubts in my mind, the abuse would have escalated with no where for her to go nothing for her to do and she would have killed me. After I left I know my sister got the raw end of the deal. I do know that, but, I do wonder if they know that I stayed much longer then I wanted to for them. I would not leave them with her. Now my brother was mostly safe seeing how my mother thought he was God . He was the one who did get it besides me when I still lived at home, my sister got very little then anyway. When it came down to it though, and I knew I was no longer safe ( a very lose term for that) that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would be dead if I went to PA, I had to make a choice for me. I had to leave.
I still eleven years later, feel guilty about leaving, which is hilarious because I doubt either one them would. My brother and sister can both be very self centered. I mean come on now my brother is on his like 5th ( no exaggerations) IPhone. He has a child and now an ex wife because of his actions. he is so screwed up in so many ways but especially in his priorities. When I found out he was picking Korea as his duty station, I was floored, but the reason floored me even more. He picked Korea so when he gets back he can be in Oklahoma with Charity for a few years. Wow. He behaved like an adult and made an adult decision, he did something that was what was best for someone else, for the first time probably in his life.
My sister. I want the bond that most sisters have. I want us to not only be friends but to be so close we can finish each others sentences. I wonder if she resents me. I wonder what she is thinking. I wonder what she is doing.She sold her house and is closing today and the only reason I know is because her husband had something about it on his Facebook. that is not something your big sister should learn on FB. It is something she should call me and tell me but she never does. I am always the one who calls her, and Glenn ( not right now not calling Korea). Maybe it is me......