Sunday, June 13, 2010

So flipping tired

It has been about a week maybe two since I got a good nights sleep. I am sleeping but not well. I am back to going to sleep after midnight at the earliest. Why do you ask am I not sleeping again? I am not entirely sure why. In truth I have less to worry about now. We converted the bankruptcy from chapter 13 to chapter 7. We were paying over $1000 a month to pay back our debt. Now do not get me wrong , I know it is our debt and it is our fault, but it was just more then we could afford to pay back. Being able to convert was such a blessing and I am truly grateful for it. We found out we will not need to get a new car. We can keep the Trailblazer.
Yet when I lay my head down at night, when I close my pretty hazel peepers, I am wired like a gallon of coffee is dripping in my arm in an IV. I can not stop thinking, thinking thinking. Worrying. I do not know what is wrong. Greg makes good money we shouldn't have the problems we do.I know that things are getting easier for us, and in a while will be great. Greg has often told me I don't know how to relax. I don't know how to unwind and in truth I don't. I have a giant stick up my butt and it has been there so long they couldn't surgically remove it even if they tried. I am wound tighter then any pocket watch and occasionally I pop.
My kids are going to stay in Florida with their mamaw and papaw after we go down for 4th of July weekend.i love my babies but I need a break. I love being a mom, but i mean look at Kaitlyn she is a good kid( stop laughing) most of the time and I love her, but jeesh! Brayden is the best behaved child ever but he has been so clingy lately I can't breathe. Okay think I rambled enough, this post doesn't make much sense. Cleaning time now! Maybe I should go back to rambling......

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